Virtual Reality

Today’s strip focuses on perhaps the most bizarre and unexpected moment in the entire Holiday Special. Grampa Bacca watches what, by heavy insinuation, is virtual reality softcore porn. As if this wouldn’t be weird enough in a children’s holiday special, this scene happens with Wookiees! And just look at Itchy’s face! If that face woke me up to go to school in the morning, I would get the hell out of bed. Sinking under the covers would not protect me. It looks like something out of Terrahawks. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Oh my god… Zelda might mean video game nostalgia for some, but for the kids of my generation, Zelda meant terror! Anyway, Itchy is clearly a crossbreed between Zelda and the unmasked Predator.

Look at the bizarre design, makeup and directorial decisions made throughout the Holiday Special. Lumpy running around for minutes of screen time, along with the rest of the Wookiee household with no real dialogue or subtitles for the first 5 minutes. Mark Hamil’s sudden turn as a transvestite. The Cirque du Soleil on Lumpy’s kitchen table. The badly dubbed Imperial Fleet Trooper. Saun Dann’s appallingly indiscreet hint about “hand solo” that even a 3 year old could understand. The Virtual Reality call girl that helps get Itchy off, to quote Saun Dann “if you know what I mean, WOW!”. And this isn’t even halfway through the special yet. I have come to the conclusion that this insanity was one hundred percent a conscious and deliberate decision by the director. He wanted to freak us out.

Watch part four of the Star Wars Holiday Special below…

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Discussion (15) ¬

  1. Sam

    So he continues to watch it with everybody there ? From my understanding of Wookies they don’t have the worlds strongest will , I guess grampa Bacca is from a better generation…

  2. Anon Jaxun

    Uh… Wow… Just watched the video.

    …So, this is Star Wars porn? You know what, after watching more of the Holiday special, I’ve decided that the denizens of the Star Wars universe have absolutely crap shows.

    Last time I saw the Holiday special, I was [i]barely[/i] coherent, with a HORRIBLE sunburn on my back.

  3. Joseph

    Zelda always scared the hell out of me when I was a kid! Evilest looking puppet I’ve ever seen. I alway sloved the noughts and crosses game at the end though.

  4. John White

    “this insanity was one hundred percent a conscious and deliberate decision by the director.”

    So nothing to do with drugs or ineptitude then. Interesting.

    • Blue Milk Special

      The thing is, television productions, particularly high profile ones like network holiday specials, have too many people involved, including executives for this to have been the result purely of “drugs or ineptitude”. They were having fun with Star Wars in the non-serious spirit of the holiday season at the expense of its integrity. The result was a Christmas pantomime.

      • John White

        And therefore ‘design by commitee’. Lets also have this – and this – and this…

  5. Beef!

    I like Terrahawks.

    I LOVE Stu Dapples!!

  6. Trent

    “He wanted to freak us out.”

    Yes… well….. he did it. But my question is why? Why did he hate us so????

  7. Firegoat

    Harvey Corman… omg, that man was pure genius! Such an enjoyable, if momentary, reprieve from idiotic characters and recycled Episode IV footage. Ugh!

  8. Firegoat

    That’s Korman, not Corman. My bad.

  9. John White

    My God, the show’s getting better! Just watching it.

    • John White

      Jesus Christ! It’s weird! Will Itchy quote George “That was good – now I want it faster and more intense.”

      Well, it was getting better – then got awful again. I think my friend Niall saw the trailer for this in ’77 and excitedly said “It looks like it’ll be brilliant! TIE fighters attacking the Falcon – with Solo and Chewie!”

      I was actually building up all these amazing mental images in school for days leading up to its transmission – guessing as to what it’d be like.”

  10. T. Gatto

    Where can I get one of those chairs ;=

  11. T. Gatto

    Hey I just realized what was Chewbacca sitting in when he had his hair done?
    It looks like the apple does not fall far from the tree. ;)

  12. Beef!

    I guess it’s a good thing he was named “Itchy” BEFORE he got the second hand Porno-Machine…

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